Why Do I Need A Pussy?

There is the age old question of whether getting a pussy is a good idea. I always wondered, why would anyone want a pussy? To get one installed is a pretty penny and a lot of work. You can’t blame a girl for saying there has to be a better way. Maybe I could hack the benefits of having a pussy. So I got to work trying to answer the question: is there a cheaper at home alternative?

One of the first ideas that came to mind was that people have pussies, so they can talk about them. You are hanging out with the girls and you casually talk about your pussy. Now this is not a problem, unless you actually have the eggplant. Oh dear, sorry fellow wahmens I can’t participate in the pussy talk. You don’t want this to be you. I don’t want this to be you. Look, just tell them you too have a pussy. It is not like your girlfriends are gonna want to see it. Girls only compare breasts, not pussies. You might need to do some research on what it is like to have a pussy and rehearse your story in front of the mirror. In the end, it will save time, money, and grief. It is fool proof.

The honest truth is that people just like pussy a lot. Bitches like pussy. Dudes like pussy. Everyone loves them some pussy. And you can easily exploit the situation to be the recipient of this love. The man on the street will never demand to inspect the pussy. People will immediately like you so much more and think of you as a better person for having a pussy. All you need to do is tell them you have a pussy. But someone might eventually attempt to check up on you. We need to find ways to mitigate this little problem.

Got bulge? You can easily hide that shit, no problem. You just got to wear like 2–3 panties so you can hide that bulge and tuck the dick, girl. Also if you do it right, it might make your pussy look plump. Cissys be paying for that kind of look. I NEED A PLUMP LOOKING PUSSY! I hear that shit all day when I am socializing with my gal pals. It turns out you can get a fine plump looking pussy you just need to tuck a penis and a few pairs of panties. Who knew? Women everywhere are running out to get a penis installed so they can get a plump looking pussy.

Okay fine, but what if someone wants to take a trip to pussy town. This is dangerous and you should proceed with caution. You need to determine if they are cool enough to permit into the conspiracy. For the bulk of the people who come asking about the pussy, you need to generate any excuse to keep this going. Deflection and deception are your friends when keeping the curious cats at bay. If you are going to let them in on the conspiracy, then you can’t have leaks. You can’t show mercy to those who find out and are wishing to expose this esoteric knowledge. If someone finds out the truth, then you must exterminate them. These people are dangerous rogues who threaten to destroy all our sweet pussy having benefits. For this method to work, it is important that you be willing to keep the illusion going at all costs.

I wish you luck, if in fact you want to try out this method. I personally have found that it wouldn’t work for me; therefore, I just got sexual reassignment surgery. It is more expensive, but in the end you don’t need an elaborate scheme to keep up the benefits of having a pussy. I can just benefit from having a pussy, because I do in fact have a pussy. No, I will not send you pictures, you pervert.

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